Fear?

I'm not entirely sure what to title this post. Lately I've been having a whirlwind of emotions. Elsie just turned one, and I always said I wanted my children to be pretty close together. 2 years or closer. People are starting to ask when I'm going to have another baby. Its weird how emotional this all is making me. Im sitting here crying just thinking about it. I want Elsie to have a younger brother or sister so badly. But honestly, I am terrified. Not sure if this is normal, but it scares the living daylights out of me thinking about having another baby. The love I have for Elsie is so powerful and consuming. When she fell and we weren't sure if she would be okay, I literally felt like my heart was breaking. She is my entire world! And the thought of doubling that love, that vulnerability, terrifies me to my core. I also find myself wondering how its possible to love Elsie soooo much, and then when I have another baby, I will love that child just as much. Maybe I need someone to tell me they had the same fears after their first child. Maybe its because Chase and I are here in Utah without any of our family. Or maybe I'm just not ready. Maybe in a couple months I'll wake up and know that it is time. I guess I just need to be patient.

Snow Morning

I wish I could say it was a snow day but it only snowed until about 9:30 and then most of it melted by the afternoon. But when we woke up and saw the frosty white snow covering the trees outside our window, I swear we were like little kids on christmas. We opened the blinds in our front room and just stared at it. Then we took pictures to send to our family waking up to 80 degrees in Arizona. Waiting for Elsie to wake up was taking too long, so we had to wake her up ourselves. We opened her blinds and her face instantly lit up. She didn't know what it was, but even at 1 year old, that stuff was magical. So we put on boots and beanies over our pjs and ran outside. Elsie kept doing her wow face, eyebrows raised, mouth open wide, pointing at everything. Seeing her with such wonder in her eyes was seriously amazing. Such a great Sunday morning.

BIG NEWS!

You guys!! I'm going to be an aunt! My sister and her husband are having a little beeb. I am beyond excited for them and this new adventure in their life. Plus Elsie now gets a little cousin to play with. I'm crossing my fingers for a girl but only time will tell. Yay!

Elsie's 1st Birthday Party

 Elsie's party was a huge success! So many of our favorite people showed up to celebrate her first year of life. We had cinnamon rolls, mini pancakes, fruit, and to top it all off Chase's dad made the most amazing breakfast burritos. 

My mom, dad and brother made this "1". It turned out perfect!

Elsie's cake made by my wonderful mother-in-law

She wanted to eat the cake but didn't like it on her hands.

I love my happy girl and am so glad we got to come to Arizona to celebrate her turing one with our friends and family! It was a great day.

Elsie Turns One

I'm a little late posting this but we've been having way too much fun in Arizona for me to sit down and type it all up. Elsie turned one year old last Thursday. This past year flew by much too fast. It feels like just yesterday I was pacing the halls and counting the seconds between contractions, anxious to meet my baby girl. Now one year later I feel so incredibly blessed to be her mama. She is the brightest, most fun and beautiful little girl. Oh how I wish I could slow down time and take in each and every second. Here are some of my favorite moments from Elsie's actual birthday.

And stick around, an Arizona party post is coming soon!